upon a star. So many things, so many desires that go against reality. Go against fairness, responsibility. I have dreams and aspirations like anyone else.

Time. Money. Constraints that are worldly, constraints that bind us to the unnecessary. Necessary constraints in our society that bind us to the unnecessary...how coincidentally inconvenient. Counter intuitive.

Why must we be bound by the chains of society, bound by these expectations, rules, responsibilities. It is drowning me, drowning me slowly. I am struggling to gasp for air, but at the same time, the hope of beating the struggle appears worth it.

The struggle - my life. My future. My well being. My brain. My worries.

Existentialism. Purpose. Fulfillment. Self-Actualization. Hurdles to be jumped, mountains to be scaled, lands to be conquered.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know where I'm going. I want a direction, a certain path. I don't want the foggy, dark, mysterious woods. I'm done with that. I'm done with the thrill of the dark unknown.

There a lot of people out there that deserve my thanks and much more from me. You probably don't know who you are, but I do. And hopefully someday...you will.

All my life I have tried to assign existence some sort of meaning, some sort of purpose. My existential crisis tsunamied itself into my life, devastating the house of my mind, removing my mental shelter. Ever since I then I have tried to rebuild those structures. I wanted to make them stronger, I wanted to make them impenetrable. But then I realized, there is no impenetrable defense.

It is impossible to try to rebuild that security, because a tsunami is an unstoppable force. The tsunami seeks not to destroy you, seeks not to hunt you down and murder you. No, it has no purpose. It is simply part of the equation of the system we call the Earth, of the system we call the Universe. Which is exactly what we must all come to realize.

Like a tsunami, life has no real purpose other than to exist. Life is just another part of the system. Once you realize what your existential crisis is really trying to teach you, you will realize that the tsunami isn't just a tsunami; its a gigantic wave, begging to be surfed. And you'll ride it, not because you realize you'll be otherwise killed by it, but because that is the only thing to do.